A Thoughtful Return

I know I have changed as a result of my experience because I feel like I have finally resolved a huge inner conflict I had been battling for a few years now. I was born in El Salvador, but moved to the US when I was still young. Even though I always remembered my country and my many youthful adventures there I knew that there was something keeping me from belonging there. I know I came back, I know I left my homeland once more, however this time have taken back my right to say that I am from El Salvador. My trip changed me as I have taken back my pride to be a foreigner. It was easy to try to ignore my past once I was here. The many adventures, sunrises and sunsets I lived in El Salvador, were quickly silenced by the mocking laugher of the children who pointed at me in middle school for not speaking their language, for wearing old clothes, and for simply being different.

The lessons from my experience I never want to forget are the ones that were taught to me by the children I had the pleasure of working with. These kids march forward in life, barefoot, malnourished, yet with a big smile on their face. They are the most creative children I have ever seen. They will turn the dimmest environment into a playground even Fisher Price would be jealous of. I never want to forget this optimism. Its not that they are unaware that they don’t have much, they watch TV they know how the rest of the world lives, but they don’t let this affect their ability to create happiness.

I wish I could explain to my family and friends that I was not on vacation for three months. I feel like even though I have explained it a thousand times, and gone as far a posted my blog on my Facebook page people still think I just went to vacation for the summer. They really don’t realize how much work this was. They don’t realize how mentally and physically challenging these few months have been.  I taught almost 3 classes a day. And each class was in a different town; somewhere up to 30 minutes away or more in the motorcycle. By the end of the day, my arms legs and booty were exhausted. Sometimes there wasn’t enough time to eat a proper breakfast or lunch. Mentally—well imagine trying to control a class of twenty-four 12 to 17 year olds. I had to find new ways to keep them engaged, and enthusiastic about coming to the classes. By the end though, the hour and a half class time did not seem like enough time to spend with the kids.

Now that I am home the thing I want to do with this experience is use it to fuel my next project. I want to create an aid program to collaborate along side with FUNDAMUNI (the organization I worked with) to bring more uplifting changed to these war-affected regions of El Salvador. Throughout my experience in high school and college here in the United States I have heard about countless aid relief efforts and organizations involved with helping all of the Central American countries, except for El Salvador. I know it is dangerous to go there…but I was born here, my siblings still live here, the kids I spent three months with count on a future to live in this same country so many are afraid to visit. There are organizations here, but really how many times have you heard, “Aid for Guatemala! Nicaragua, and Honduras”? It is El Salvador’s turn. I want begin writing the backbone of this organization. I don’t know how to call it yet (I am open to suggestions) but ultimately I need a framework, a story, and a written form to explain and convey what needs to be done in El Salvador and how everyone can help.