in class we learned about family roles. this past week i got an eye opener on my own culture. i got to see and understand how my own culture values the roles of the father and mother in the family. and i can say we truly live in a male dominant society in el salvador. my step mom does everything around the house. so do my younger siblings. the girls get up early and make breakfast. my father sits and waits for his food to be served.
this was another little culture shock i had. out of nowhere my father started ordering me around. "i'm thirsty," he would say. "get me water." and i did. it was a strange feeling coming from here were i am my own boss to going back into a home where i am no longer considered an adult. or at least not an adult that can fully decide what she wants to do. we ate when he wanted, what he wanted and where he wanted. the girls take care of the younger siblings. so there i was changing dippers. we also are responsible for the meals and the cleanness of the home. so there i was cleaning. i don't mind helping out at all. but i realized that it is not just helping around the home. it is my role as the oldest daughter to do so. it is this unspoken expectation. i am not sure if this is something i should be okay with or if it is something i should speak up about. how do we know when a culture is ready for change? the role of women is obviously a lot more than just the cleaning/cooking lady. but does my father (and most men in el salvador) realize that? and is it my job as the outsider to try to show him the difference?
Yeah, I think you're bringing up some difficult questions! When dealing with another culture I really think it's a good idea to withhold judgement, to be very slow to accept the idea that you understand whatg's going on, even with people you are close to and feel you know pretty well.
ReplyDeleteMy family actually somewhat like yours. Growing up my dad didn't generally prepare or serve meals. I'm pretty sure that the understanding between my parents was that my dad spent his days working and making money that supported our family, while my mom maintained the household, including preparing meals. And if my dad wanted us kids to do something, he told us more than he asked ... because he did his job and we were supposed to do ours. This didn't make ours a male-dominated house, it just meant everyone had a different role.
good point. But my step mom works all day too.. and she's pregnant. It be nice to see him help her out a little more. I just don't want to step in the wrong way in my efforts to help out the cituation. My step mom doesn't even seem to think that there is anything wrong. Even though she feels the consequences of it.
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